Introduction
- It’s all about change
- The intention of this book
Philosophy
- Success is optional
- There is no failure
- Abandon your goals
- Nobody has any rights
- Don’t learn from others
- Reveal your secrets
- Be without past
- Problems are good
Attitude
- Don’t go to work
- Lazy is good
- Stop using adjectives
- Nothing is urgent
- Nothing is important
- Not now!
- Work Done doesn’t matter
- ToDo doesn’t matter, either
Collaboration
- Get rid of the boss
- Adults don’t need permission
- Trust nobody
- Get your Pants down!
- Smart is dumb, dumb is smart
Meetings
- Triple the meeting time
- Forget appointments
- Stop having meetings
- Take time to chit-chat
- More and longer coffee breaks
Management
- Management is for stupid people
- General Management doesn’t work
- Managing people is waste
- Don’t be a manager
Structure
- Experience is unhelpful
- Eliminate the business side
- Stop people from doing their job
- Have fewer people
- Avoid organizational frameworks
- You have no idea who your architect is
- Governance is a corporate dysfunction
- Scatter the team
- Consider anarchy
- Shred your backlog
Metrics
- Numbers always lie
- To measure is ignorance
- Performance is a myth
- Metrics are worthless
Process
- Abolish your processes
- Shut down your ALM tool
- Abolish best practices
- Stop Multitasking
- Be idle
- Stop reviewing others’ work
- “Plan B” is a waste of time
- Burn your documentation
- Destabilize your processes
- Stop improving processes
- Optimize locally
- Do everything twice
Finances
- Stop managing costs
- Lose money
- ROI is stupid
- Don’t plan for profit
- Spend as much as possible
- Give your product for free
- Shut down your services
- Invest into removing features
Customers
- Ignore your customers
- Upset your customers
- Disgruntled customers are the best
- Let contracts end
- Send them to the competition!
Leadership advice
- Stop motivating your team
- Create Problems
- Bring me problems, not solutions!
- Hard Sales are bad deals
- Actively do nothing
- Refrain from making decisions
- Discourage quick fixes
- Cross deadlines
- Increase idle time
- Allow security incidents
- Safety is an illusion
- Focus on harm
For Developers
- Get crappy equipment
- Limit code size
- Limit development time
- Stop branching
- Push to Production
- Close your test environment
- Turn off your automation